Held at the Hem: Finding God in the Chaos

Held at the Hem: Faith Makes Me Whole — Mark 5:25-34

I’ve been in church all my life—baptized, God-fearing, surrounded by Scripture and stories of faith. And yet, for the longest time, I didn’t really know the way I was meant to go. I followed paths I thought were right, but something always felt… missing. For years, the Bible felt distant. The words seemed clear to everyone else, but not to me. I couldn’t always grasp the lessons. I would impulse-buy devotionals, hoping a new one would “click,” hoping something would finally make sense.

Life became even fuller—and messier—after I became a mom in 2018. Amid the chaos of bedtime routines, sleepless nights, laughter, and tears, I found out I have ADHD. Oh, great—just what I needed, another thing to add to my ever-growing list of “what’s wrong with me now?” Suddenly, decades of scattered thoughts, bursts of ideas, emotional highs and lows, and constant jumping from one thing to another all finally started to make sense.

No wonder I can’t stick with one devotional, why I start a project and never finish it, or why my brain bounces all over the place. And then there’s bedtime prayer—oh, the bedtime prayers. I ramble nonstop to God, jumping from one thought to another, pouring out my heart in a million directions. I can only imagine Him laughing gently at me up there. Yet somehow—even in the middle of all my chaos—He meets me right where I am.

Fast forward to this past Christmas, when my mother-in-law gave me a devotional. It wasn’t just a pretty book—it was a gentle nudge. It talked about using the gift God has given you. Around the same time, social media kept nudging me too, with reels and TikTok videos about discovering and embracing God-given gifts. And it hit me… I had always wondered what mine was. I can carry a tune—but not like everyone else. I can create art—but I’m no professional. I’m a good mom—but so are countless others. So, what is my gift?

The Lord says, “Ask, and you shall receive” (Matthew 7:7). And boy, did He! The answer came quietly, in a woman’s Bible study at my church. My ADHD, which once felt like a struggle, actually shapes the way I experience life. When someone shares their story, my mind instinctively applies it to my own experiences. I process, relate, reflect, and then connect it to Scripture. From there, I can help others see: You are not alone. It’s the “me too” moments—the nods, the tears, the quiet understanding that says: “I’ve felt that too, and God is here with us.” Even if our circumstances aren’t identical, there is a connection. There is comfort. There is hope.

Through this journey, I’ve realized something beautiful: it’s okay to fumble, to question, to search for answers in devotionals, posts, or the world around us. What truly matters is trusting God’s Word and letting it quietly, powerfully, and faithfully work within us. That is where peace lives. That is where guidance lives. That is where our “me too” moments bloom into understanding, connection, and hope.

This blog is that kind of space. A quiet, safe place for Scripture, reflection, and honest conversation. A place for moms, daughters, and women who feel stretched, tired, or unsure—but who are still reaching. Still seeking. Still holding on. Just like the woman in Mark 5 who reached for the hem of Jesus’ garment, believing that one touch could change everything… we don’t need to have it all together. We just need to reach.

If your life feels chaotic, messy, or overwhelming—if you’re hanging on by a thread like I often do—make sure it’s the hem of His garment you’re holding onto. Just reach. He is waiting, right where you are. My hope is that through my story, you’ll relate in some way, feel encouraged, and be drawn a little closer to the Lord.

Still reaching, 

Caitlyn ❤